My Husband, the Prankster

My husband fancies himself something of a prankster. I recently learned that he gets this from his parents, who joyfully torture each other by hiding sandspurs in each other's undergarments. I know, right? Crazy, but funny. When I found out about those hijinx, I had much more respect for the in-laws.

Today when The Husband got out of bed to take a shower, I asked him to leave the water on for me when he was done. He forgot, so I asked him to turn it back on. I stepped in to find that he had turned the water to the coldest setting.

"Funny, Husband! Really fucking funny, you son of a whore!" I screeched from the shower. {Note: I love my mother-in-law, but one of my favorite pet names for the hubs is "son of a whore." It just rolls off of the tongue.}

A few minutes later, I get another blast of freezing water.

Apparently, my dearest saw fit to journey into the guest bathroom and flush the toilet just for shits and giggles.

I love him. And I will pay him back in kind when he least expects it...perhaps on the morning he has a big client meeting. Because nothing says "I love you and good luck" like a freezing cascade of water.

Over or Under. The Battle Rages on in the Haphazard Household

I lost the battle with Cottonelle. I'll admit defeat by minority, but I will not play to popularity. I am an under-roller (shout out to B, even though you don't remember that conversation so many moons ago). I will ignore the popular vote, and maintain dictatorship over toilet paper direction in my own home.

So, on the rare occasion that The Husband is moved to actually replace the roll of toilet paper (rather than just place it on the sink), he does it the opposite way of how I'd do it...on purpose. In fact, TH thinks it's funny to switch the direction of the rolls of toilet paper just to irritate me. He enjoys this so much, his coworkers love to tease me about it at firm events. Obviously, his anal wife is office fodder. This does not help his situation in the least.

Today, I'd had it. I'm a tad OCD, and I like things just so. So, after a day spent cleaning MY house, I found my husband in all of his hilarity had switched the roll I had just replaced. I strode out of the powder room and calmly poured myself a glass of wine. Then I sat on the couch and informed The Husband that for every time that he intentionally pisses me off via toilet paper, I will hide one of his dress socks. It is yours truly, after all, that does the laundry.

He thinks I'm kidding.

Game on, Lover. Game fucking on.

Still a kid at heart

I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I watched The Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie on the Disney channel this weekend. I'm even more embarrassed to admit that I enjoyed it.