The Boy is not Marley and thanks for your two-cents, Random Stranger

I left work early yesterday, so I picked The Boy up from puppy camp. We are used to people stopping us and saying how beautiful he is. This is true, The Boy is a fine looking dog. What has become so annoying is that the next thing out of their mouths is inevitably, "Have you seen Marley and Me?"

For the record, anybody who has loved a dog should read the book. And I loved the movie, but I never thought I would watch it more than once, because who wants to cry like that on purpose? Although C did point out to me that I watch Steel Magnolias over and over and it's essentially the same kind of self-inflicted emotional torture. I do watch Marley and Me often, but I usually stop when they move to PA. I just can't take the ending.

Anyway, so yesterday this guy stops me in the parking lot of the vet's.

Random stranger: He's beautiful. How old is he?

Me: Thank you! He just turned two, so he's still a little rambunctious but he's a sweetheart.

RS: Have you seen Marley and Me?

Me: Yes, I love that movie. I cry every time I watch it.

RS: My friends' just put their lab down. It's sad. I've heard you have to be careful with the dog's hips.

Me: We're working on getting his weight down so we don't have to worry about it so much. We want him to be healthy!

RS: Well, walking him is good. You'll probably lose some weight, too.

With that matter of fact statement, he put his rabbit in his car and left. Did this guy who owns an animal that essentially shits every time it moves really just suggest that if I exercised my dog more, I might lose weight?

I'm sorry, why am I supposed to care?

So...Levi Johnston is supposed to be bearing all for PlayGirl. Tons of hoop-la. They're up in subscriptions due to this issue. Whatever. I'm so confused.

Am I supposed to be turned on by this irresponsible teenage boy who knocked up a certain irresponsible teenage girl? Other than the fact that her mother ran for VP, and he can successfully produce sperm, what's the interest? Levi's cute, sure. So is my next door neighbor's kid. I don't want to see either naked. Levi's just another stupid teenager who got himself into trouble. So, is my irresponsible cousin who knocked up his irresponsible girlfriend going to be on the following month's cover? Are people going to care then?

Is it just me, or is the "full Johnston" just another step down for us on the old evolutionary ladder?

Completely Random Thought of the Day

I have a completely irrational fear of squirrels. When I was in college, I would try to avoid walking under the trees on the way to class for fear one would leap out of it's lofty perch and maul my face. I have no idea what has prompted my psyche to fear these little beasts.

Squirrels are out in full force. I have to restrain The Boy from chasing them up a tree. I have to pause to let one get across the street. I have to shoo them out of our backyard.

And it occurred to me today...I have never, ever seen a baby squirrel.

Man's Best Friend

The only real rule in our house regarding The Boy is that he is not allowed to sleep in the bed. I usually hit the sack before The Husband, and The Boy usually snuggles with me until "Daddy" comes upstairs. At this point, The Boy knows it's time for the floor until the alarm goes off in the morning and he can get back in the bed. The Husband went soft on the rules last night:

The Husband: (entering bedroom): OK. The Boy can sleep in the bed tonight.

Me: Really?! Why?

The Husband: Because I just watched Marley and Me, and Marley died.

Me: You knew Marley died. Did you cry?

The Husband: Of course not. Well, almost.

Ah, a fissure in The Husband's stoic facade.

Still a kid at heart

I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I watched The Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie on the Disney channel this weekend. I'm even more embarrassed to admit that I enjoyed it.

Feigning Ignorance and the Modern Marriage

The Husband does not open his mail. This drives me batty, because I can't stand clutter on any surface. And anyway, who doesn't open their mail?

The growing pile of paper on our kitchen counter has been driving me crazy. Nagging has become part of our nightly routine. While The Husband plays games on his crackberry (my friend Haley famously flushed her husband's down the toilet and I'm about to follow suit), I stand with hands-on-hips and say, "Have you opened your mail today?"

He doesn't stop his all important game, but says, "I didn't see any mail, where did you put it?"

It is in the same place I have put it every day that we have lived together.

Add this to the list of things I won't let my daughter do

Dear Katie Holmes,

I'm just going to throw this out there...a three year old in heels looks stupid. That is, unless those heels have a Disney princess on them and are being worn during dress-up in a basement.

Sincerely,

Edit to note: I'm sure (or at least I hope) that this was a situation in which Suri didn't want to take off her play shoes. But if a child's outfit could be upsized to fit Charlotte on SATC, I call foul. I am a huge proponent of little girls looking age appropriate - no heels, no belly shirts, no Victoria's Secret Pink logos on the bum, and no faux tats. It's OK if you think I'm archaic.